It would be rather strange if you did and I think that is so true. My youngest son lost his battle to addiction Sep 30 2017. We had plans to move to a Sr. I celebrate my grandkids birthdays, but still cant do Christmas or Thanksgiving. Even though we had hospice care, there was so much confusion about what was happening to her and if she was getting the right treatment; there was so much decision-making which is fatiguing; the living room where she slept for the last three months became cluttered with medical supplies and bottles of pills. I miss you so much. Im grateful for the love and time I had with them and I try to look forward to the future for my daughter, All of my parents (mine and my husbands) are aging and sick. Its heart breaking One of our dogs (Milo) a king Charles took a stroke two months before and died. But life sure is hard at times and not having my kids to support me and love me and just be there for me its hard but I am a survivor always have been and I always will be. Im a forty six year old widow and had been with my husband eight years. But I keep hitting brick walls. My husband passed away two years ago Sat. Ive missed her terribly for two years. I had thirty years of marriage she was everything to me all I had known since eighteen.I had counselling through myself back into work and seemed to be coping acknowledging every milestone with great sadness. She was my best friend, soul mate my everything. I pray all of you that God will wrap his arms around you. He died within days of me telling him. amen No words to make it better I would if i could. I can only say that with time, the pain and heartache will always be there, it just mellows with time. Now without her? Holly. Unbeknownst to either of us he had a very enlarged heart. Take care. That helps . I am not the same person I was. The meltdown has not yet come. Like his life was just a blink of an eye.19 year. I just found a counselor that I will see the end of July. I really like your attitude to life despite your huge loss. Thats hard at 69 . I find this second year a lot worse than the first. I feel like time has stopped as I am in a complete never ending story of several emotions at one time. I try to live life as if I am ok, but I am not. Perhaps Im also very worn out as life has been tough & catching up with me. I am grateful. He came home after his wife treated him terrible and would not look after him. It was an honor to be there for her and care for her, but those memories of the last six months are so strong. Our son, Kevin, died on January 28, 2017. I will never be happy on his journey, I have to find my own. Now I know no matter what happens to me, at least mom is forever safe and even transcended death. I hold onto all the We both had been married before and had children. I miss him dearly, I am asking same question as you . So it is a major move, but I am waiting until the end of the year or beginning 01-01-19 to make sure it is for the right reasons. Really! Im numb with grief I cant get to church or the cemetery Im constantly in tears and my anxiety is through the roof. The second year of grief is like reliving the first year but awake. ~ C.R. You said it for me. I yearn so badly just to be with him. When you lose someone that close to you it is the one time when you can tell the whole world to go jump in a lake if it expects you to get on with things. They say I have chose him over them so theyre pretty much through with me what I need help dont know which way to turn. Just watching and being involved with the babies sometimes makes me very sad, since gran isnt with me. It feels like a couple weeks ago she was just here. The pain is unbearable. I am still hoping beyond hope and beyond reality, that Jill will magically be real again, here, in the whole, in my arms, and next to me in bed at night and in the morning. I blame myself a lot because I tell myself what if what if. I will keep you in my prayers. Create Art. Im comforted to know that others feel the same. I just cant. It was such an intense time I was caring for her at nights and weekends and working full time during the day. But when they get close I bail out. I still have Sophie, another king charles. I cry and curse yet, but I am not debilitated on the floor for an afternoon. I buried Milo with his mammy (a little memorial box that lay at my wife hands) went together on their journey. Hi. That hurts. My mind keeps going over all of the treatments and hospital stays and all the hopes we had of him getting better of no avail. - Unknown. I had no idea grief would be like this and encourage all couples and families to discuss dying and be prepared as much as you can be for death to be a part of your life. The reality of knowing that isnt going to happen is so heartbreaking. Pray. The pain never goes away. It's just me & my 6 year old son now. I miss him so much and still feel so lost without him. I am so sorry for your loss but shingles can be so painful and you were trying to spare him this pain. A grieving cat may go off its food. what I had with Glenna. I became numb, I spent the next 2 years struggling with the loss. I still cry hard for him day, and beg him to come home to me. Time and Date Duration - Calculate duration, with both date and time included. My dad passed away Mar2016. But I think I am doing ok in my grieving process, just grieving intensely right now. They were able to get a heartbeat, he was on ventilator and all tests everything came back to normal. Perhaps because of expectation expecting to feel better and then feeling even more disappointed and sad when they didnt. I have had it with the insensitivity of some friends one in particular This is my 2nd Christmas without my beloved husband of 30 yrs. Feel your feelings, cry when you need to. I understand what you are going through. This year, it seems as if my thoughts revolve around all the treatment my deceased wife got that didnt help, treatments she could have received, and a yearning for one more. One more smile, a hug, a kiss, a conversation, a meal together. I despise being a single parent. Sometimes it just feels like a bad dream. For me, Everyday is a shocking reminder that my husband is not with me. We waited so long for each other. For now, I think we should go with the flow and if we feel sad and listless, it is completely natural and nothing to be ashamed of, we are grieving, we are mourning, we are entitled to a self pity party, our landscape has completely changed, Days and feel so alone at times afraid to speak of my grief people telling me I should be fine. For example, if DATEDIF (DATE (1969,7,16),DATE (1969,7,24),"D") returns 1/4/1900, the Date . How much more do we enjoy the movie or party that we thought was going to be terrible? It all came back like it was the first few days after he passed. The only approach is to get STRONGER, so I can carry it more easily and for as long as I have to. I also think it is the type of loss. I hope you have found your way Thank you. Now, its almost at the 2 year mark. I find its a song, film or similar that sets me off & the relentless Covid media stuff, & it all sets me off crying. My crying break downs are now short and fewer, but any little memory can set me off. There were many ups and downs with surgeries and chemo, but she lived for everyday with our children. I owe him everything and I decided that Ill be living a life dedicated to love in memory of him. People who have not been through the sudden death of a spouse have no idea. I lost my younger sister to sepsis January this year. Thank you Jesus for steadying my arms. We have to keep going and keep strong! I been trying to get my life in order such as trying to find a job. Christmas is upon us. It was completely unexpected as he was fairly young and never had health issues. Your story is so touching. I hv a beautiful daughter, but I want her 2 live, not burdened w/my emotions. Such as giving a lot of her things away, doing things I enjoy and now because I have decided to move to Washington, which I currently live in Ft Worth Texas. Time will pass and your hurt and suffering will diminish, and you will learn to live with it and honor the memory of your spouse, while moving forward. I am a musician I play guitar a song that I came across hit me like bricks its called, Something You Get Though by Willie Nelson look it up. I believe this is what the Lord wants. I often feel isolated and on the edge of all thats real. You never forget, you just learn how to deal with the pain and heartache. My husband of 37 yrs passed away July 25 2018. My husband of 54 yrs. I'm in my 16 month. Time so far has not lessened the loss even though I am involved in many activities outside the home, he is always there. As I approach the year anniversary and holiday season, I feel that the grief is worse then ever. Maybe its a happy memory or a photograph. So I was been very very careful about how I was feeling questioning everything . The sadness and loneliness gets better but I personally dont think I will ever get back to where I was before my sons death. I told him, I cant drink, because I cant even swallow! His response was, of course you can swallow, it just hurts. He died in my arms. I lost the only person who ever understood me and this is what that feels like. Wanting to die in order to join the loved one. I went back to work and I found some new hobbies and established my new normal. Its so much to deal with even with a grievance counselor. Im living for him as well. He and I have no extended family -so it was just us and our girls. Its becoming real and it sucks. I left the house for about 15 minutes and came home and found him dead on the kitchen floor. They tell me they are mourning too but are moving forward. Yes there are periods of NO pain but never a time without remembering as one goes about lifes daily activities . I lost my dh 1 year 10m ago too. Thank you for sharing. My sister died 3 years ago at age 47. Just a few months away we both believe in God and his Universe. So be it. The one I turned too for deep discussions, uplifting when I was upset over something and just encouragement when needed. I am at the 16 month mark and it seems to be getting harder. Hello Robert. Dear Dad, It's been one year and one month since you're gone. And that you do, move on with your life. Im at month 16 and grieving seems to be taking over my life. He is always with me! And I cant move on. It has to get better it cant stay this hard always:-(. I go out to the cemetery every day, sometimes for hours at a time. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life alone and I know my wife cant come back. Some days are better than others. They only thing was he was not responding to any stimuli, he just so happened to have a little brain damage in the best place possible, but after a week, we decided to let him go, the neurologist gave us no possible hope and his numbers were not getting better. My husband passed away a year ago unexpectedly. Mike was my power house. I suggest a book by Megan Devine called Its Ok That Youre Not Ok. Blessings to each of you on your journey. I now am stronger. Of course I can, it just hurts. Im sorry. I wish the pain would subside more on some days than others. They didnt die alone. What did I do wrong? This loss has left me feeling like i have lost all ability to find any happiness. I just feel this big void in my life and I just I will be never I read about so many gone within a few months after losing their spouse and think how lucky they are! I share everyones pain expressed here. If ever there was a time when we need to be setting realistic expectations for ourselves, then certainly our time of grieving is one of them. 6 moth later I lost my father in law and and then lost my mother on my birthday. We were lovers and partners for 32 years. Anyone else lost 2 sisters or siblings at young ages who can at least relate on why at almost 2 years post second loss I am experiencing deep depression and complete apathy sure I fake it and smile when one is cued because I dont know how to anymore. Love to everyone out there. He kept reminding me I needed to keep drinking fluids. In an odd way, I dont want to be done because I feel like if I stop thinking about her then that means I have stopped loving her (which I know isnt true, but thats how it feels). Im not suicidal, but I really dont care if I go on living, or not. We try to support each other. Nicely written by Emma J Andrews. i am finding it more difficult with each passing day . We were and still are devastated. People always tell me to move on and Ive tried but it hasnt been the same. What happened to me ( Im 16 months in) was I have not had a nights sleep for weeks ,looking after my partner. The second year is different in many ways, first that some people expect you to be over it. I read a lot about near death experiences and it has helped a little bit. I thought that by this time (14 months) it would hurt less. However, Ive lost my father, mother, cousin whom in my heart was my brother. I didnt get to tell him while looking into his eyes that I loved him so much and him the same with me I wish I could hear him say to me just one more time how much he loved me so. I did not dwell on these thoughts the first year but now my mind wont stop wondering! Even though sometimes we accept that this is life but life seems unfair at times. The 2nd year was worse. I think I just feel like I just dont care anymore. This is the second year, and as it got near to his birthdate, it hurts just as badly as last year, if not worse. And I still miss you, I can't image life without you. Dont know how to be happy. Most importantly church, Its been 2and a half months since my fiance died suddenly day after Xmas 2020. My heart goes out to you all. I have had to make tough decisions on what I can handle. I still wear my wedding ring Im never going to take it off she is my love and only no datting for me there no one out there who will replace her. This friend just had to rub salt in the wounds when she observed you worked so hard to lose all that weight, and now its all come back. Ann Marie it gets better slowly. Stay strong, watch the sunrise and the rainbows after the rain. There is a scripture in the Bible says a time for everything. In the poignant track's lyrics, G-Eazy describes longing to reunite with someone in his dreams . Valetines. I am just into my second year and the intensity of grieving seems to have increased. 6 more people passed including my father. He isnt hero, my best friend, and the man I wish I could be more like. Lost my husband 2 yrs 4 months its hard I have good days but I need someone to talk to thats not family. One day we are shopping, and the next day Im dealing with his death. I was in total shocked! I miss him so much. But those grief waves keep on coming when you dont expect them. This will never end, will it? is worse the waves of gut wrenching Now feeling that most of life does not fit me any longer: not my clothes, my town, my friends, my houseeverything seems empty on the bad days. Things are familiar, but not clear, not altogether solid. I know Im supposed to live one day at a time, etc, etc., to get through this, but quite frankly I am sick of doing that. We were living in St. Louis when he was diagnosed with GBM-Brain cancer on November 2015. The death of your child and the pain that comes with it don't disappear after 10 years another reality I slowly crashed into. My heart is breaking. That is really important to know. Just trying to move forward in life but the pain came back again and it hurts so much. I cannot go grocery shopping or I cry when I see his food. I still cry daily but Im told thats not how it is for everyone. This past year has brought many changes, however, am taking one day at a time. Glad I happened onto this website where I can share such deep feelings that I used to share with the love of my life. I lost my firstborn precious child, my 10 year old son a few days away from 14 months ago. Hello everyone its sad what we all have been through but Im glad for a group like this to share our pain since we all have lost someone we love. I have had a fight with depression most of my life. And I mean nothing makes me happy anymore. I also feel the pain my children feel on his birthday and fathers day. Theres nothing that the doctor could do for him he live nine days I think the when the doctor told her what was wrong it killed him knowing he was so bad and nothing that could be done. These days are what made the memories so hard to deal with. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. A second Christmas without a child. Living with cancer was all we had ever known. We see your attributes and qualities in each other and in our children and we know you are living on through those you loved." "It's been three years since you left us, father, and you are still in my heart. My husband died 15 months ago as a result of a hiking accident. I havent decided if thats true or not yet. Then she was born. My Bill was my soulmate, best friend, husband and the love of my life for 40 years. I would be very grateful. I have no passion for anything and I feel an immense guilt that wont go away. I was with my husband since 17 years old and 46 years married. Im so sorry for your loss. I left the day they told me my husband was dying g to get my two young adult children. my daughter whom i was very closed t passed away 18 months ago i miss her so we were like sisters i have lost any feelings i cannot cry y i want to but the tears will not come i used to be a lot of fun but now i just dwell on what has happened to lose daughter when she is part of u is the worse feeling i have tried to keep busy but nothing helps wish i could cry. None of this will bring her back. Honest quotes about grief: Tonight. I am so sorry that we are all here. Sometimes I find myself asking Did this really Happen? When I met her she had 5 Children then we had a Son together, and 3 are still home with me and it just seems that sometimes it wont get better. not only was he the love of my life he was my best friend he is the one i would have turned to to ask ok, what do i do now..i dont know where i fit in the world now. She too is an amazing person and as much as I know we shouldnt make comparisons, she has the same qualities I found in my wife. I try to be strong for everyone but cry myself to sleep most nights not sure what Im supposed to do next. Please think about your children and their pain and reconsider your actions. So happy . I am a shell of what I was to never return to the happy go lucky-good guy I was because of my wife. We are devastated. I have been so sad lately; crying like it happened yesterday, asking, WHY again, unable to breatheand then I realized I was still experiencing the year of firsts.. this was the first year of no firsts.. My husband died 1 year ago. I have a 22 yr old daughter who lives with me and a 24 yr old son who lives with friends . On the anniversary of his funeral, I lost it. It has been 2 years since you passed away. So. Since you do have the original Will, you must submit . The first year was missing my wife and being sad for my daughters. I lost my husband, my best friend in 2016. This has to get better and I know in I lost my bf jan-21-14. I still cant believe he is gone. But the terrifying thing about grief is how easy it can be to function in your day-to-day life while it quietly eats away at you. I kept going to work, serving at church, most of the things I had formerly done. Im in a slump dont wont go out or visit. Sleep offers solace, music can be painful, but books are my refuge. Sometimes I feel its the house we lived in thats keeping me from moving on so I am selling it and getting a smaller place. tool to check the status of your refund within 24 hours of e-filing. Peace be with you!! After a few months we started dating- the girls love him- I love him. I made it through. Its just about me now. The first 2 years every single memory of every single moment of happiness we had were the worst part. I cry daily and wish I was the one who passed, Robin I am with you almost two years for me after 30 years of a wonderful marriage. Its been 5 months for me though. I love him so. I miss him so much. Its been 2 years 4 months and 18 days since I lost my husband unexpectedly He was only 59 and super fit. But they didnt get chance to sell it before dad just suddenly fell and passed away. How disappointed are we when a long planned vacation-of-a-lifetime turns out to be not all what we would have hoped? Especially when retirement is in the near future. I have a big empty space inside that just wont go away. Margaret, your husband died after 46 years of marriage last year and mine round the same time after 45 years. It . I think everyone thinks I should have moved on and gotten over it. In the months that followed my mom's death, I got my dream job writing about celebrity and pop culture at VH1, my boyfriend became my fianc, and I smiled through bridal showers and bachelorette parties for dear . 3. But without them especially losing Kimberly so suddenly I went into flight mode making funeral arrangements this time solo. Its been twenty months and it breaks my heart. the worst thing I did, was telling a 7 years old his dad wont be coming home, I heard the loudest screamed in my life, the screamed saying get my dad back ,I want him home. Am I alone feeling like this? Take care of yourself. It's been 21 days or more since you e-filed your return ; It's been six weeks since you mailed a paper tax return ; Where's My Refund? The one thing I asked my counselor was why, why would I do that? my life has not been the same since I lost him, thats what I am lost without him and i feel everyone thinks i should have made more progess than i have. I am English but have a wonderful friend in Alabama also a widow . Was told it would help. visitors from any country you want (USA/UK/CA/EU) I feel I can,t cope. But.. And exactly one year later, her mother passed away due to heart failure. I miss the closeness of my husband. I have been travelling a lot, which helps, have lovely, helpful children and friends, so many blessings, but this is like being punished and in many ways I feel I deserve it, I would like a cat or dog, something living around the house, but I go away so much. We were married 33 wonderful years and I cherish the time we had. When we are adjusting to oneness each day is a learning experience. Ann, Im so sorry for every ones lost,,Im to. Strange as this may sound, I am now finding life even more difficult. I decided that Wichita was not for me. But i have hope it will get better. The body is never the same again, but healing does happen. To survive is just being alive- I am not living. I am 16 months in and its is harder than the firstBUTi have joined lots of things and really get out and about. Margaret, your husband died after 46 years of marriage last year and mine round the same time after 45 years. and I know now I am not going crazy. There is no words that will make sense of our loss. She passed suddenly from a heart attack. I too, was 54 and now in my second year of grief. That was September 2013. There's no "normal" path or timeline. Jackie, your words hit the mark, I lost my husband 18 months ago, no warning just woke up to finding him taking his last breath, I called 911, started CPR after 20 min. Then type a formula like one of the following. Hi everyone. I have to accept this grief will never go, but I do wish it would lesson, maybe after the 2 years? Thanking God for the time I had with my husband we were together 36 years but it seems harder now. I still work because I am 58. Waiting for that day. This happen to me. And usually in his favourite colours. One day it will be my turn. I feel like I want to lay in bed all day and would be perfectly content doing just that. I pray that there is a heaven & I will see him again. Every journey is unique and we just get through our own way. I know how you feel! Use the DATEDIF function when you want to calculate the difference between two dates. The shock and numbness in the first year was dreadful, but it did protect me from the sharpness of the pain I now feel. The first is a book by the author Megan Devine, Its OK That Youre Not OK. He did his nightly walked, went to the store and picked up milk and bread which he always does, before he left I asked him if I could come but he said no then he gave each of us a kissed on the forehead and said hell be right back, he then told me to get the kids in bed as there was school the next day. We had bought a house, were remodeling it, and then going to sell the house and move out to the country. I guess we are never really prepared for the death of a loved one. Approaching the second year of losing my 47 yo husband to Cancer. Kim was DOA at the hospital and I couldnt face seeing the non living face of another sister. He had 3 brain surgeries to help with inflammation and to kill the infection out. To have some exchange to feel better or to go forward. married for nearly 35 years and even though I have a I hope your find strength in coming months x. Hi. Losing a Brother I hear very little about. That I went into flight mode and tried to protect myself from anymore pain, from the hurt. But for now, that seems unlikely because when I dare to look out, all I see is the hazy, drab-blue sameness an endless ocean. Im the only left to help them. He passed away on July 27 2018. I was with my husband for 50 years. Thank you for sharing, Its been 2 years and tomorrow 1 month. Not only am I different from lossing my best friend, I am also different after taking all those pills. He looked after us all and I want him back so I can look after him! "To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die" - Thomas Campbell. One Year Death Anniversary. So thats what am doing. I totally understand. I try to keep positive and remember that the love I have for him is stronger than anything in this world. Since I lost my son. I work full time sometimes 14 hours a day and Im exhausted. I cry all the time, my co-workers dont even ask anymore because they know. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. My Dad died back in 2001. I just want to isolate myself so people wont try to tell me to feel better when I cant. Diagnosed on 3 Feb and gone 14 Feb. She too was everything to me. I cry everyday. - Unknown. Just watching and being involved with the babies sometimes . I have me4 a man who I like and makes me laugh. I miss him everyday and I just pray to God that he gives me the strength I need to move forward in life because Im not only living for me. Our 21 year old twin daughters just got back from a movie and ran in to get me. He was in and out of the hospital for months and then a small mass was found on his lung. My Father refused to talk about my Mum, I got out at age 17 & came to live in the UK. I was her care giver, but now going on the second year, I still have so many regrets . When he died the entire family was crushed especially our Mama.
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